How to start a conversation with a girl

Starting a conversation with a girl is very easy, just don’t think too much about it and go with the flow, here are some tips for you:

1. Sincere praise:  Be sincere with the flatterer. It could be about the dress she’s wearing or the book she’s reading. This is all it takes to break the ice and get the conversation going. 
2. Ask open-ended questions:  If you know what she’s interested in, steer her towards that topic and ask her open-ended questions. For example, if she loves reading, ask her for some book recommendations in a particular genre. You’ll get the conversation flowing quickly. 
3. Finding common ground:  Finding something in common that you can talk about is the best way to start a conversation. You can talk about books, movies, anime, etc. 
4. Be friendly.  Whenever you approach her, make eye contact and give her a warm smile. Don’t push her and only talk to her when she is free and wants to talk. This will give her the confidence to talk more with you. 

How to keep a conversation going with a girl

When you’re talking to a woman you’re interested in, the first conversation (or the first few conversations) will form your first impression of her, and first impressions often last a long time. To make sure it flows smoothly, keep these tips in mind:

1. Don’t force the conversation

Even the most stimulating conversations have good and bad moments. It’s important to recognize these moments and patterns and speak accordingly. Don’t talk just for the sake of talking. This can feel forced, awkward, and sometimes uncomfortable. Pausing briefly during a conversation can mean you’re considering and processing what was discussed.

 Things to noteAcknowledge her feelings, thoughts, and experiences without forcing the conversation, as this will encourage her to continue talking to you.

2. Avoid personal questions

No matter how well you know someone, you should avoid asking personal questions about their family, income, health, etc. unless they bring it up.

As a general rule, avoid these topics with people you aren’t close to, as they can change the tone and flow of the conversation. If the other person chooses to raise the issue themselves, feel free to listen and engage without judgment.

3. Avoid general topics when starting a conversation

One of the most common conversation pitfalls is starting your opening sentence with something general like the weather or how your day at work was. These are completely normal things to talk about and discuss and should come up naturally. You may get a few lines of communication going, but you’ll soon find the conversation starting to get a little boring. Fun conversation starters for couples could be childhood memories, aspirations, hobbies, dream travel destinations, etc.

4. Be cheerful

Whether you’re texting someone or talking face-to-face, both parties often have some sort of mental shield to protect their self-image. Try to open things up a little by telling a joke or asking an unexpected question.   It could be a joke or a teasing comment. You’ll notice the atmosphere of the conversation change to something more relaxed and fun . You’ll also look happier. 

5. Ask open-ended questions

No conversation should feel like an interrogation.  If you ask a closed question like, “How are you?” , they are less likely to respond with more than one word or sentence. They will probably reply,“I’m fine, thanks,”  or  “I’m fine,” and  you’re back to square one. Instead, ask questions like, “What are your plans for next week?” or “If you could pick a new hobby, what would it be?” These questions pave the way for more conversation and ensure healthy discussion.     

 Quick TipsMaintain eye contact when asking open-ended questions — this shows you’re interested and engaged in the conversation.

6. Use icebreakers

A good icebreaker can revive a boring conversation or even start a whole new one if done right.  You can ask an interesting question like,  “Why did you want to study film in college?” or “What inspired you to volunteer at an animal shelter?”  to start a new discussion. They will spark conversation and help you get to know her better. 

7. Use humor at the right time

Timing is key when it comes to humor. If you have the opportunity to tell a joke or a witty remark, do it.   Making her laugh can help relieve tension or boredom in the conversation . It also makes you more interesting and charming. 

 Things to noteThink about an interesting thing that happened to you or share a funny pet story.

8. Seduce nature

While you’re talking about work or the weather, you’ll eventually want to progress and flirt with the other person. Flirting is a great way to spice up a conversation as it brings out a whole different side of the other person.   Based on the equation and comfort level that you share with the person you’re talking to, say something like,“You seem like you can be mischievous at times”  or  “I hear you’re not the type to follow the rules.   

9. Use conversations to plan and coordinate activities

Not every conversation needs to have an end goal. Sometimes chatting can get stale, especially with someone you just met. Let the conversation naturally lead to planning activities or get-togethers. A good example is when you talk about your favorite food and then say,   “Have you ever tried Indonesian food? Let’s go to this restaurant that has great nasi goreng. I’m sure you’ll like it.”  Similarly, look for opportunities to incorporate her feedback into meetings and activities. 

 Quick TipsIf you’re not ready to ask a girl out one-on-one, suggest going out in a group.

10. Make time in your day to chat

We all lead busy lives and for most working people, making our own schedule is rare. However, you can always find (or, more accurately, make) time to chat. There is nothing worse   than having a great conversation with someone only to have it ruined by a call from your boss or host, disrupting the natural flow of the conversation . When you want to talk to someone special, don’t let them interrupt you. 

11. Be an active participant in conversations

A common mistake when you’re nervous, especially on a date, is to jump from one topic to another during a conversation. For example, you might start with a work problem and then suddenly switch to talking about the weather. Instead of running from one topic to the next, show interest in whatever the topic is and let each conversation come to its natural conclusion before moving on to a new one.

12. Plan a backup list of topics to discuss

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, a conversation can end up being boring. It could be due to your mood or other circumstances that are beyond your control. To ensure that your conversation never gets boring, prepare some light and pleasant topics. Make sure these themes are suitable for any occasion and can be used regardless of the time or mood.

Avoid controversial topics related to religion or politics.

13. Know her interests

Like anything in life, the more you know about something, the better you can do it. Make an effort to find out what her interests are and take the initiative to interact with her. This will lead to interesting conversations and she will appreciate that you made the effort to find out all about her.

14. State your interests only when relevant.

Generally, people like to talk about things they’re passionate about. But when talking to a woman, especially one you’ve just met, don’t assume she’ll be interested. For example, your passion for golf might not interest her, and she might get bored if you dwell on it. However, you can mention your preferences if asked.

15. Know when to go off topic

Few things are more satisfying than finding someone who shares your interests and is passionate about them. If you both love to cook, talk about the meals you make every day. But things can get monotonous after a while, and that’s when it’s time to stop and change the topic.

16. Know when to argue and when to give up

It’s completely normal to disagree on some issues. The key to resolving disagreements is to change the subject or leave it at that without arguing for or against. If you disagree on an issue, make sure to state your opinion honestly, politely, and respectfully. Some of the most stimulating conversations are friendly disagreements, and if handled properly, they can create great memories.

17. Open up to her

It can be hard to share your personal story with someone and list your fears, shortcomings, and insecurities. But if you like her and you open up to her, it shows you feel safe confiding in her. For better or worse, you’re baring your soul and connecting. With any luck, she’ll do the same for you.

18. Bring a fresh perspective to trivial topics

Most of the time, we end up talking about small things like our jobs or the weather. The key here is to bring up the topic in a humorous or engaging way. For example, if you have to talk about the storm last night, instead of asking how it was, try to talk about it in a humorous way.

“The weather was so bad last night that I almost went for a swim home. My basement flooded like the Titanic. How is the situation on your side?” or “My boss seems to dislike me.” I wonder if I offended her in a past life. Do you believe in resurrection?

19. Talk about “normal” things

Accept that as you get to know someone well, the list of “interesting” topics ends. It’s important to be honest about these things and move on smoothly. Focus on listening more than talking and connect with her.

20. Know how to rekindle the fire

Every conversation has its good and bad points. One day you might have a great conversation, discussing a movie or book you both love, followed by trivial tidbits about work or transportation. You need to know how to rekindle the spark you felt when the conversation reached its climax and get things back on track.

Bring up something she’s passionate about or revisit a topic that bonded you two. Add something new by asking about her favorite restaurant and whether it serves the same dish there, or if she’s ever considered changing jobs. Talk about a new movie being made that’s based on her favorite book, or your favorite comedian coming to town with a new show. This way, you can keep something old fresh.

21. Gossip, but don’t let it become harmful.

As social creatures, one of the most fascinating activities we engage in is gossiping. It doesn’t necessarily have to have a negative connotation. Research shows that gossiping can be good for us, as long as it doesn’t become compulsive or harmful(1). Gossiping is a good way to relieve stress, and research shows that we tend to gossip with people we trust. So if she’s willing to gossip with you, it means she trusts you.

22. Talk about music

Music is an art that transcends all boundaries. You don’t need to have a formal education, income or be an expert to love music because it is in the heart of each and every one of us. Share your favorite artists and songs with her and ask her about her favorite songs. You can also make it relatable  by saying, “This place reminds me of this song by XYZ” or “This soundtrack is very similar to a song by my favorite artist.”

23. Don’t be afraid to support each other.

If you’re not feeling well, your natural tendency is to avoid conversations. You’re at your most charming, sociable, and likeable when you’re down. Talk about the bad day you had or the argument you had with a close friend or family member. When you discuss these issues, you might find yourself having deep, honest conversations about things you normally wouldn’t talk about.

24. Observe

Sometimes you need to look around and observe what’s going on while you’re talking. You could talk about the song playing at the bar or your mood at the time, discuss the smells and decor of a restaurant, check out the picnic spots, etc. Sometimes chatting is as simple as looking around, noticing things, and making a witty or intelligent remark about them.

25. Keep the conversation flowing

Not every conversation needs to be (or can be) scripted and follow a set schedule. Humans can’t help but react naturally to things, and conversations happen spontaneously. No one is really “trying” to make it happen. Learn to recognize this feeling and accept it when it happens to you.

These tips on how to keep a conversation going with a girl will help you create an interesting and engaging conversation with the girl you are interested in. It might be hard to come up with a topic to talk about, but with these simple tips and tricks, you can get the conversation flowing. But don’t just do all the talking, make sure you give her some space to express her thoughts too. Use your humor and wit to create an interesting conversation that will eventually get you two hooked.

How to get through awkward moments in conversation 

Author and blogger Tam Pham writes about how he improved his social skills, especially when talking to someone. “I imagined I was standing in line to get coffee and there was a cute girl standing behind me,” he said. “I turned and smiled at her. She smiled back. I said hello, we chatted… and then a nightmare hit me… I became extremely anxious and overthought in my head what to say next.”

After much reading and much thinking, he found a solution to his problem. “But the surprising method that worked best for me was one that came from study and improvisation(i),” he wrote.

To handle awkward moments during a conversation, it’s important to stay calm and confident. Here are some tips:

1. Stay calm : If things get awkward, don’t stress. Take a deep breath and relax. Don’t overthink the awkward moment. We all have these moments, but most of the time they don’t last long. 
2. Acknowledge the awkwardness : Sometimes, acknowledging that things are feeling a little awkward can make a situation better. A light-hearted comment like, “Don’t you feel a little awkward?” can make you both laugh. 
3. Change the topic : If the topic becomes serious or boring, try talking about other topics such as her interests, fun things, common experiences, etc. This will help change the mood. 
4. Use humor : If things are feeling really awkward, using humor can help lighten the mood and make both of you feel better. 
5. Be honest : If you’re not sure what to say next, be honest. You might say, “I’m not sure how to proceed, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.” It shows you are sincere. 
6. Pause when necessary:  ​​It’s good to pause a conversation sometimes. Don’t feel the need to fill every moment with words. Let things happen naturally. 

FAQ

1. What should I talk about with my daughter?

You can talk to a girl about a variety of topics, from everyday life topics like your education and career plans to your hobbies, passions and favorite music. If you are wondering how to start a conversation with a girl, start with some easy topic that will interest her in the conversation. Pay attention to her reactions and convey your thoughts confidently, respectfully and politely.

2. How can I chat attractively and grab her attention?

To keep a woman’s attention in a conversation, start the conversation with confidence and respect. Find out what she likes and dislikes and be honest about your own thoughts, ideas and preferences. Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation focused on her and listen to her patiently. Above all, be yourself and don’t try too hard to seduce her.

3. How can I ask questions about girls without being too pushy?

To ask a girl questions without being prying, avoid personal topics and respect her boundaries. Initiate conversations casually and show her that you’re listening. Read her reactions and body language and go from there. Don’t try too hard with cheesy pick-up lines and above all, be yourself.

4. What are some nonverbal cues you can use to show you are participating in a conversation?

First, maintain good eye contact. This shows that you are listening and with the other person. You can also show your interest in the conversation by nodding and agreeing or disagreeing with what the other person says. Your facial expressions can also reflect your attention. Finally, try not to get distracted or preoccupied with your phone.

5. How do I get a girl’s attention?

Being confident in yourself, giving genuine compliments, being well-groomed, and having a sense of humor will help you get a girl’s attention. Also, there is a fine line between showing concern and being desperate that you should not cross. Moreover, even if you do get her attention, it is only through good behavior and personality that you can maintain it and turn it into something beneficial.

Keeping a conversation going with a girl you like can be challenging and difficult. But with the tips above, you can have a fun and engaging conversation with any girl. There is a lot to talk about with a girl, but be careful not to force the conversation or talk too much, as this will make her turn away from you. Instead, give her plenty of space and only speak when you have something interesting to say. Be respectful and playful, demonstrate your sense of humor, speak slowly and clearly, listen well, always keep an open mind, enjoy a productive conversation, and ultimately grow closer to her.

Infographic: Hatred Phrases to Avoid When Talking to Girls

To avoid the conversation becoming awkward, there are some topics that you should avoid. What are those topics? Well, the following infographic gives you the answer. Discover the list of girl-to-girl conversation starters and actions and take notes for a seamless bonding experience.